If Social Media Has Become Children’s Community, What Does That Say About Ours? A Froebelian Reflection on Belonging, Connection and Childhood in Scotland

Children Adapt to the World They Inherit

It is often tempting to frame discussions about technology as though children have stepped away from “real life” into something artificial. Yet children do not design the environments they grow up in. They adapt to them.

Over recent decades, many aspects of everyday life have shifted into digital spaces. Communication, education, entertainment, work, healthcare, and social interaction are now routinely mediated through screens.

In this context, it is not surprising that digital platforms have become central to how many young people experience connection and belonging. The more relevant question is what this tells us about the availability of meaningful communities in offline spaces.

A Froebelian Lens on Connection and Belonging

Friedrich Froebel understood children as deeply relational beings whose development is shaped through connection with others, with nature, and with the wider world. His philosophy is grounded in the idea of unity and interconnectedness, where learning and identity emerge through lived relationships and participation in community (Froebel, 1887).

From this perspective, education is not simply preparation for life. It is life itself, experienced through relationships, play, and active participation in the world.

The Froebel Trust continues to emphasise “unity and connectedness” as a central principle of Froebelian practice. Children develop a sense of self through belonging, and belonging is formed through meaningful relationships and shared experiences.

This raises an important question for contemporary practice.

If children increasingly describe online spaces as their community, what does that suggest about the communities available to them elsewhere?

Connection, Community and the Scottish Froebelian Tradition

Contemporary Froebelian scholarship in Scotland continues to develop these ideas in relation to modern contexts. McNair and Addison (2023) highlight that Froebel’s thinking positions children as active participants within interconnected communities rather than isolated individuals.

From this perspective, children’s learning and development are inseparable from their participation in relationships, communities, and shared experiences. Belonging is not an outcome of development, but a condition for it.

This interpretation challenges us to consider the environments we are offering children today. While digital platforms can provide opportunities for communication and connection, Froebelian practice reminds us that children also require real-world relationships, shared spaces, and embodied experiences in order to fully develop identity and agency.

The question is not whether children are capable of forming connections online. The question is whether these connections are supplementing or replacing wider experiences of community.

Technology as a Bridge, Not a Substitute

It is important not to frame technology as inherently negative. Research by Andries and Savadova (2021) exploring refugee families in Scotland highlights how digital technologies can support communication, learning, and cultural transition. For families navigating new environments, technology can act as a valuable bridge to connection and belonging.

This perspective is important because it reminds us that digital tools can play a constructive role in people’s lives, particularly during periods of change or isolation.

However, from a Froebelian perspective, difficulties arise when digital spaces become the primary or sole source of belonging rather than one part of a wider network of relationships and community participation.

Children’s development depends not only on access to information or communication, but on meaningful relationships with people, places, and shared experiences in the world around them.

What Happens When Community Becomes Fragile?

Across my professional experience, I have observed significant changes in children’s everyday lives.

Opportunities for independent outdoor play have reduced in many contexts. Informal neighbourhood relationships are less common. Community spaces have become more limited. Families often experience increased pressures on time, work, and mobility. As a result, opportunities for spontaneous, unstructured connection have diminished for many children and young people.

In this context, digital environments often become the most accessible form of social interaction.

This does not indicate a rejection of community by young people. Rather, it may indicate that community has become harder to access in traditional forms.

Lynn McNair’s work on Froebelian practice in Scotland emphasises that children are active participants in society whose sense of identity develops through relationships with others and engagement in community life. From this perspective, belonging is not optional. It is fundamental to wellbeing and development.

When children describe social media as their community, it may be less a statement about technology and more a reflection of what is available to them in their everyday environments.

Relationships, Play and Lived Experience

Tina Bruce’s Froebelian scholarship emphasises that children’s learning emerges through relationships, play, and lived experience. Children learn through engagement with ideas, feelings, people, and environments that are meaningful to them.

This understanding reinforces the importance of direct, embodied experience in children’s development.

Digital spaces can offer interaction and learning opportunities. They can also provide valuable support for children who are isolated or marginalised. However, they cannot fully replicate the depth of shared physical experience, spontaneous interaction, and relational learning that occurs in everyday community life.

A child may be constantly connected online and still experience loneliness.

This distinction between connection and belonging is important.

Belonging is not simply about communication. It is about being known, valued, and situated within relationships that extend beyond the screen.

A Community Question

What stood out most in the young people’s comments was not their use of social media, but the sense that for some, it had become their primary reference point for community.

This invites reflection rather than judgement.

If social media were removed tomorrow, what would remain for children and young people?

Where would they gather?

Who would they turn to?

What spaces would support their sense of identity, participation, and belonging?

These are not technological questions. They are social and educational questions.

Reclaiming Community in Practice

A Froebelian approach does not reject technology. Instead, it asks what conditions are needed for children to flourish as connected, relational beings.

This involves ensuring that children and young people have access to:

• Meaningful relationships with peers and adults
• Opportunities for play, creativity, and collaboration
• Participation in community life
• Engagement with nature and outdoor environments
• Spaces where their voices are heard and valued
• Experiences that foster identity, belonging, and agency

These experiences cannot be fully replicated in digital environments. They require physical presence, shared time, and sustained relationships.

Froebel’s understanding of education as rooted in life itself remains highly relevant here. Children learn who they are through participation in the world around them.

Final Reflection

The conversation about social media is often framed in terms of risk, regulation, and restriction.

These discussions are important, particularly in relation to safeguarding and wellbeing.

However, a Froebelian perspective invites a broader question.

When children describe social media as their community, they may not be rejecting the physical world. They may be reflecting the realities of a world in which traditional forms of community have become less accessible.

The challenge, then, is not simply how to manage children’s digital lives.

It is how to ensure that children continue to experience genuine belonging in the world beyond the screen.